Top Gun In The Oven ( Tom Cruise )

A few weeks ago...my fiancée and I did the impossible.

Yup, that's right. We flew into the danger zone. Together. Undercover -- heck, without a cover! And now...

I don't know if you've heard anything about it, but it appears that the good Lord Xenu has decided to bless Katie and I with a child! Not an adopted child, but one that's half Katie, and half me! To tell you the truth, I'm still in a little bit of shock over all this -- I mean, I had no idea that making a baby was so complicated! When I was married to Nicole, she'd tried to show me where babies came from, but...I just couldn't believe any of it! It seemed so...icky, and un-natural. It was just like that scene we did in Eyes Wide Shut, except there weren't any cameras (as far as I could tell). But no matter how hard she tried to show me, the stork never brought us any babies. It was so strange. I kept on pretending she was a guy, and I guess that didn't help. But then Katie came along, and now, everything makes sense!

Oh, and to everyone who ever raised...ahem...doubts about my uber-heterosexuality, well, here's what I have to say to you:

Even Dawson couldn't get Joey pregnant! And now, look at me! Mission Impossible? Nooo way. Mission Complete! And I didn't even have to marry her, or land on an aircraft carrier! (Although, we do still plan to follow through with the marriage, don't worry)

So in conclusion, this is why I haven't updated lately. Sorry you guys -- babymaking's a pretty time-intensive business. I mean first of all, it took Katie about three weeks just to convince me that having kids wouldn't increase our thetan count, and then it took her even longer to show me what went where, but after I figured it out -- it was (to use a word of Kate's)... "awesome." I've got to say though, if this is really what pregnancy and childbirth is all about, then I'm totally looking forward to having kids with Katie. I hope she doesn't get freaked out seven months from now though, when the baby comes. I did a bit of reading last night, and apparently, we don't give new moms any of those icky pain-relieving drugs to help with childbirth. Don't blame me -- it's just a part of the rules. But I'm not too worried about it -- I mean, how hard can it be to give birth?

In other news, filming MI3 is going pretty well -- I'll tell you more about that later. We got back from Rome a little while ago, and Katie and I even found some time for rock-climbing (well, until we figured out she probably shouldn't do that anymore for awhile). But I couldn't go any further without mentioning this awesome awesome awesomeness of news. I'm going to be a daddy!

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to go look for some elevator baby shoes. If this kid gets any of my genes, s/he's gonna need them.

Love, babies, and Scientology,
Tom "call me daddy" Cruise